Our heart pumps about 2,000 gallons of blood everyday according to fun facts about the heart. Connected with this what we called “valves” which serves as the opening and closing gate through which our blood flows.
Ang dami kong natututunan habang tumatagal, out of curiosity and because of being paranoid kung ano na ba ang mangyayari sa akin kaya nakakapagsearch ako sa google.
Let’s start where this story begins.
October 2022, when I got sick. Nilagnat ako at inubo na naglast ng more than a week though dati naman inuubo din ako ng matagal pati nga during Covid period at inignore ko lang because I am used to it pero this time may kasamang lagnat which made me go to the hospital para malaman kung ano ba ang nangyayari sa akin. I thought kasi na may Covid ako or TB (tuberculosis) which I hope not, my friend says baka may dengue daw ako so kailangan kong malaman ang kasagutan.
I went sa hospital malapit sa amin, the attending nurse told me to do chest xray and ECG, and the result was I have a pneumonia, thank God hindi TB kasi kapag ganun ang nangyari hindi ako makakapasok sa trabaho so that was a relief though pneumonia is not an easy one. Then the doctor added, “You have scoliosis and your heart is enlarged”. I was shocked dahil hindi ko akalain na magkakaroon ako ng ganung sakit.
The doctor told me to come back after one week and will do the chest xray again to check if my heart is still enlarged but I did not come back thinking na hindi naman big deal yun— like what we Filipinos always do kapag may follow up check-up na kapag gumaling na tayo eh hindi na tayo bumabalik sa doctor dahil gastos lang.
So I got recovered from pneumonia.
And then November 2022 nagsponsor ang boss namin for chest xray dahil may nagka TB sa isa naming kasamahan.
And there the result was still my heart is enlarged. And the doctor said that I have to undergo 2d echo. And the result was, I have Rheumatic heart disease and severe mitral stenosis. Hindi ko alam ang ibig sabihin niyan until I researched, and until I went to a cardiologist.
Wala naman kaming history of heart disease though may mga hypertension ang members ng family namin so sinabi ng cardio na sakit daw yun pagkabata, na nagkasakit ako nung bata ako which is scarlet fever at hindi nagamot ng ayos kaya ngayon lumabas ang symptoms. Well yung symptoms nya is binalewala ko lang and I realized yun na pala yun, yung madali akong hingalin at mapagod na konting hakbang sa hagdan ay pagod na pagod na agad ako. Yun pala yung sore throat ko dati at yung ubo na hindi ko ginagamot.
So hanggang sa sinabi ng cardio ko na hindi nagagamot ng medications ang ganitong sakit kundi operation lamang, and boom! My world was moved.
Hindi ko alam kung papaano ako iiyak, kung papano ko ieexpress yung disappointment ko sa mundo, sa sarili ko mostly dahil pinabayaan ko. Kung hindi daw sana severe eh kaya pang gamutin. I don’t know where and how to start hanggang sa sinuportahan ako ng boss ko para magdiretso sa pagpapagamot.
Walang nag oopera dito sa province namin ng puso kaya nirefer ako ng cardio ko sa isang cardio na nasa Philippine Heart Center. From there inexplain ng cardio ang mga options para gumaling ako.
He started to explain 2 options. First is the PTMC or the ballooning inside the valve, dahil daw hindi na nakakabuka ng ayos ang mitral valve ko kaya may ipapasok silang catheter sa may singit ko paakyat sa puso at pabubukahin yung mitral valve ko at iiwan dun ung parang balloon na magsisilbing guide nung valve and that procedure costs P400,000. I was just a normal employee earning minimum salary per month with savings na may 4 digits lamang so saang lupalop ng mundo ko hahanapin ang P400,000??!
I’ve tried to open up sa family members namin hoping na may maiitulong sila but sadly wala, until naikwento ko sa tita ko na nagpaaral sakin dati nung college ako and wala siyang pag aalinlangan sa pagtulong sakin.
But to maker sure daw na tama ang diagnosis sakin, nirequest nya akong magpa2nd 2D echo sa Philippine Heart Center at sya ang gumastos ng test ko.
Para makatipid sa pamasahe, sumabay kami ng husband ko sa trucking ng ninong namin dahil mahal na ang pamasahe sa barko at bus papuntang Manila. Tiniis namin ang small space sa truck at ang byaheng inabot ng 10 hours para lang makapunta sa hospital.
Sinabi pa niya na before nya gawin yun is iuundergo muna ako sa 2d echo and TEE or transesophageal echocardiogram na may isusuot na camera papasok sa esophagus ko para macheck if pwede yung valve ko sa ganung procedure and malaki ang chance na maging okay yun.
WIth the help of my boss at sa mga nagdonate ng pera, nakalikom kami ng sapat na amount for downpayment at inischedule ako ni Doc for operation on January 24, 2023.
January 23, 2023. We went to PHC together with my husband and my younger sibling and with full support of my Tita and her live in partner. At 9am nakarating kami dun and nagproceed sa admission tapos kailangan namin munang magpaswab test ng kapatid ko so we waited 3 hours for the result. Tapos bumalik kami sa admission and nagbayad sa cashier and by 5pm saka lang ako naadmit.
Ang husband ko ang runner namin sa labas dahil isang bantay lang ang inaallow ng hospital. By the ways, semi private ang room na binigay samin ni Doc kaya maganda ang privacy at ambiance.
So I think 7pm nung nagsimula na akong lagyan ng pang swero, nakadalawang inject pa nga ung nurse kasi gumalaw daw yung ugat ko tapos hindi agad napress ng bulak kaya namaga at pumasa ung part ng injection. Around 9pm siguro ako nilagyan ng IV fluid or dextrose at nagsimula na akong kabahan. Every hour may nagchecheck na nurse, kumukuha ng Blood pressure and oxygen and pulse rate.
And nung time to eat na may nagserve ng food para samin ng kapatid ko, masarap pero walang lasa dahil kailangan low fat at hindi maalat ang kakainin ko.
And nung tulog na kami may pumuntang nurse para kunan ako ng dugo for creatinine ect. Pagkatapos may nurse na nagsabing kailangan ko ng magfasting after midnight until tomorrow para sa gagawing TEE ko.
And after few hours nabago yung sched ng fasting, after 6am daw ang fasting ko so I decided na kailangan ko kumain before 6am para di ako magutom but unfortunately ang delivery ng breakfast ay inabot ng 7am so hindi ako nakakain.
Then January 24 the awaiting day. Naghintay ako ng magdadala sakin for TEE, ang sabi kasi e 9am pero halos 11am na ako pinuntahan.
So inupo ako sa wheelchair at dinala sa location kung saan gagawin ang TEE. When we got there, inexplain sakin ng doctor kung ano ang gagawin niya sakin. But before the TEE, nagconduct muna sila ng 2d echo sakin so ganun ulit parang inu-ultrasound, the difference is may 3 doctors na nagpapalitan ng knowledge sa may tabi ko habang niro-roll nung med tech ang pang ultrasound sa chest ko. May naririnig akong mga terms na hindi medical terms, pero nagkakaintindihan sila, parang basketball lang ang pinag-uusapan nila.
Then after ng 2d echo pina-open na ng doctor ang bibig ko at nagspray sya ng pang mouth anesthesia para hindi ako masaktan sa ipapasok sa lalamunan ko, then pinatagilid nila ako at nag inject ng pangpakalma sa IV ko at nakaramdam ako ng sudden numbness na parang inaantok ako pero nakamulat ang mga mata ko at naririnig ko lahat ng sinasabi nila. At ipinasok na sa bibig ko yung maliit na camera na may long tube na kasama which they called “endoscope”. Yes naramdaman ko yung pagpasok sa lalamunan ko pero wala akong naramdamang pain, pero nung hinugot na saka ako nakaramdam ng uncomfortable feelings tapos ang daming saliva na lumabas sakin at napaubo pa ako.
Tapos naririnig ko lang na tapos na daw at tumayo na ako, diretso upo sa wheelchair at hindi ko na matandaan kung ano pa ang mga nangyari, namalayan ko nalang I was lying in my bed at yung kapatid ko ay natutulog din.
Hinintay namin ang result ng TEE, or yung announcement from the nurse or doctor para sa procedure ko pero ilang oras na wala pa rin.
I was very hungry kasi ilang oras na akong fasting, hindi ako payagan ng nurse na kumain dahil wala pa raw advise from my doctor. Then kinulit ko ulit yung nurse, sabi ko sobrang gutom na ako. Yung food ko ng breakfast at lunch ay hindi ko pa nakakain. Minutes later pinayagan na ako ng nurse, it was 5pm at sure na akong hindi na matutuloy ang Ballooning procedure ko.
Habang kumakain, biglang dumating ang cardiologist ko. He told the sad news. I am not qualified to do the ballooning procedure, he cannot risk it daw kasi masyado ng calcified ang aking mitral valve which means tumitigas na at hindi na nag oopen close ng ayos ang valve ko which may lead to leaking or blockage sa oxygen at blood. He also told me that not one but 3 valves are already damaged and the only solution is to undergo ‘open heart surgery’.
I am shocked pero namanage ko pa din na itanong kay Doc lahat ng details about it at kung magkano ang gagastusin ko. He said it will cost me around 800,000 pesos. And that moved me. Then I told him if na sasabihin ko muna sa family ko para sa decision na gagawin ko and he told me na pwede akong magpatuloy or pwede rin akong umuwi muna para makapag ipon para sa operasyon.
I was determined. I believe I was strong enough to undergo open heart surgery, alam mo yung feeling na gusto mo ng sumama sa outing pero di ka pinayagan? It was a disappointment for myself, I couldn’t believe na may ganung momento pa pala na pwedeng maraming valves ang iopera. Ready na ako e, I don’t want to go home without holding the trophy of success.
And my sister started to video call our relatives, but no one gives me an answer. Nobody stands up and fight with me, umiiyak ako after umalis ni Doc pero mas napapaiyak ako dahil pakiramdam ko they don’t want to shoulder any amount or atleast help me which I understand dahil hindi naman mayaman ang angkan namin. We ended the call because I felt that it was a stupid idea and then I decided na uuwi na lang talaga kami at mag iipon ng fund para sa operation ko.
January 25, 2023 nadischarged ako sa hospital at kahit masakit sa damdamin ko e umuwi na kami, I felt sorry for myself at hindi ko napigilan ang pag iyak habang nasa bus kami. Sumakay kami ng bus going to Batangas pier at nakababa kami ay saktong 12am na ibig sabihin January 26 na at birthday ko na. Madaming nagmessage sakin ng encouragement at birthday wishes but I felt alone and I only wanted to be alone.
At the same day nagtravel ang lola namin para lang makasama nya kami kahit pa hindi siya talaga pumupunta sa bahay. Nothing special on that day, gusto ko nalang pasayahin ang sarili ko but I felt empty, numb, I felt the heavy baggage that I am carrying with me. Minsan iniisip ko na ang useless ko na, may sakit ako at hindi ko na magawa yung mga bagay na nagagawa ko dati. This was my karma, I overused my body na hindi ko nililimitahan ang sarili ko kaya si Lord na ang gumawa ng stop button sa buhay ko, not actually stop but to rest. I admit na suicidal person ako at maraming beses ko ng tinry but at this moment wala akong ibang naisip kung hindi ang mabuhay. This was His plans for me and I am very sure na lahat ng ito ay may magandang results at the end so I continue to fight.
My husband was very strict when it comes to what I eat, he make sure na walang condiments at hindi maalat o malasa ang mga pagkaing kinakain ko because he believed that it will be a good thing and preparation for my upcoming operation…kahit wala pa kaming pera at wala pa kaming sure schedule ay minamanifest na niya ang pagpapaopera ko and he believed that everything will be fine.
To those who had the chance to read this post, I hope may matutunan kayo sa mga nangyari sa akin. Well I am not the only one who have been through this at mayroon pang mga taong mas mahirap pa ang dinadanas sa akin and mas hopeless pa but I want you to take this as a reminder for yourself and a way to change the bad habits you are doing. I am hoping that after you read this you will love yourself more the point na isusupply mo yung mga nutrients na needed ng iyong katawan and to supply your soul with love from God.
Ako? Mahilig ako uminom ng alak, uminom ng juice at sodas, mahilig akong kumain ng fatty foods, ng mga processed foods, ng mga salty at oily foods. Mahilig akong magpuyat, ngayon ko nalaman na seriously our body needs to rest and our heart too, hindi pwedeng mapagod ng sobra, I work hard and resting is not a choice for me but an option kapag nakaramdam lang ako ng super pagod. I was once a servant of God in sa simbahan but when I was working na, hindi ko na naituloy yun and I just went to church monthly, minsan hindi pa ako nakakasimba in one month. My faith in God is still there but I am not being there for Him, napakaunfair ko nga naman na dininig niya yung mga prayers ko at hindi niya ako pinabayaan but I did not do my part. I lost myself in loving you…este I lost myself and I lost God at masyado akong naging busy sa material things in life and I hope hindi mo gawin yung mga maling nagawa ko sa buhay. Yes we all make mistakes but we always have a choice, minsan nga madaming choices pa e so wala tayong pwedeng idahilan sa kanya.
Going back to the story, I started to feel weakness in my body that I cannot perform and work well kaya nagpaalam na rin ako sa boss ko to give me an option to work from home and promise to fulfill my duties kahit wala ako sa office and I am glad na pinayagan ako. Staying at home was a punishment for me since hindi naman ako sanay na tumatambay dahil I work 6 days per week and from 8am to 5pm madalas overtime pa. Tapos mag-isa pa ako sa bahay dahil kailangan din magwork ng asawa ko para may maipambili kami ng pagkain at mga gamot. Tiniis ko, may mga oras na kahit nakakaramdam ako ng panghihina ay hindi ako makatulog. Overthinking, stress, anxiety, and depression ang dinanas ko sa mga araw na yun. Walang kaibigang dumalaw, wala ding relatives na naglakas loob na puntahan ako, I was expecting some care, some hugs, some advices and cheer up words from those people but I was dissapointed. And with that, I shut down. Isinara ko ang sarili ko from them, I prohibit myself from updating to them. Hindi ko na inexplain ang sarili ko at hindi ko na hiniling na unawain nila ako but I really take it super personal.
So I started to reach and send help to government agencies, partylists, politicans, and even posted help in social media because no one will help me but myself. Together with my husband and my friend Yrica, nakaipon kami paunti-unti ng funds for downpayment. There are times na nabubuhayan ako ng loob because those people whom I am not expecting to care is atleast offering help para sa akin, hindi ko sila ka-close at lalong hindi ko sila hiningian ng tulong but they responded. If I will be given a chance sana makausap ko ulit sila.
So back to the story, my cardiologist introduce me sa surgeon na magpeperform ng operation and this surgeon explained to me this: Tatlong valves mo na ang damaged, severe na ang mitral valve stenosis, moderate aortic valve stenosis, severena ang tricuspid regurgitation and severe na ang pulmonary hypertension mo. If we will not proceed to operation asap, pwedeng kang magka heart failure at madamay lahat ng internal organs mo first in line is young lungs mo. Your heart is not good.
The phone conversation between me and the surgeon was long enough to clarify all the details that I need to know. I asked him to give me a quotation for the cost of operation and he estimated it from 800,000 to 1,200,000. Habang tumatagal lumalaki din yung amount, at nagiging severe yung case ko so I need to hurrry up. He told me to make a downpayment of 350,000 for him to include me in the waiting list for operation. But what he’s missing is that hindi niya sinabing he is not accepting Guarantee letters (GL) as payment for his PF (professional fee) which nalamang ko lang nung nakapagdownpayment na ako. That was very tough na kahit pala makaipon kami ng 1 million pesos na GL eh required pa din kami maglabas ng cash.
So this is how we save the fund: My generous tita and my employer lend me some cash, we collected 700,000 from the GLs, and people donated money for my operation. Ganito yung naging set up namin sa paghingi ng tulong, lumapit muna kami syempre sa mas malapit—-sa congressman namin,I was able to make downpayment and asked my surgeon to include me in the waiting list. Ang schedule ko dapat ay April or May but I insisted at nagmakaawa ako sa surgeon na isingit ako dahil gustong- gusto ko ng gumaling at wala akong hiniling kay Lord kundi ang mapabilis ang araw ng operation ko, totoong hindi natutulog ang Diyos, well he made so many miracles in my life at pinahanga na naman niya ako ngayon.
My surgeon’s secretary called me to inform that I will be scheduled on February 28. Yes! napaaga pa at talagang sobrang saya ko that time, para akong nanalo sa lotto. I don’t care about the money, wala na akong ibang naiisip kundi ang saya ko dahil maooperahan na ako, oh diba parang natanggap lang sa audition ang peg.
And so binalita ko sa family ko ang good news, some are happy pero alam kong yung iba ay natatakot para sa akin, I haven’t talked to them kasi feeling ko laban ko ito at kelangan ko itong lagpasan. So niready ko ang sarili ko especially yung deteriorated health ko para sa operasyon, nagtiis ako sa mga walang lasang pagkain, bawal maalat, bawal matamis, bawal ang mamantika…yogurt, oatmeals, prutas at gulay ang pinili ko muna sa panahong ito.
jOURney 